The Fitness Guru

Someone wandered into my office the other day with a copy of the be-all, end-all exercise plan that would revolutionize the industry and the way that people lose weight. The “Metabolic-Super-Burn-olious-Booty-tastic-Wonder-Sweat-o Maxi-Core-rrific!” was simple enough to fit on a page and a half of letter sized paper. The idea was that if you work really, REALLY hard until you can’t work, then take a break, then work really, REALLY hard again (then wash, rinse and repeat), the pounds would just come dripping off. I tried very hard to match my visitor’s excitement but, alas, I just couldn’t do it. The only thing that seemed original in this thinking was the title of the workout. The rest was a re-hashed replay of the same ol’, same ol’ gimmicks. And it does get so tiring, particularly for the consumers out there who are spending billions and billions of dollars in the hopes that someone, ANYONE will give them an answer.

I have the answer.

But you’re going to have to sit through the story first.

Once upon a time, many, many years ago, I had a little pit bull named Adobe. I adopted Adobe while traveling cross country and, when we returned to New York, over a period of time, I started to notice that Adobe was putting on pounds. She was becoming a very heavy little city dog. So being the fitness guy (not yet “Guru”- that would come later), I would go out every day with her. We would travel to a large field near my apartment and there, I would throw a ball over and over and over again. Adobe would run and get the ball and bring it back, just as monay times as I threw it, until eventually she was so tired that she would take the ball to the furthest crner of the field and lie down, certain that there would be no way for me to throw it again. But even with all that running, she wasn’t losing a pound.

I took her to the vet. Maybe it was a glandular problem……maybe she needed canine lipo……..I was starting to get concerned. I told the vet the story of the ball and the field and she told me this: the dog will never lose weight like that. Chasing a ball is a mundane task. No matter how hard she pushes herself, she will never really be involved in the act. She, and all dogs for that matter, will get far more “exercise” by sitting perfectly still in the backyard and processing the millions of smells that come across the lawn. Her brain needs to be active to get her metabolism going, not just her body.

( light bulb)

So you mean if the dog is involved in some meaningless repetitive act, even if it seems she is working hard, she will never boost her metabolism? But…..wouldn’t…….that be the same for…….people?

And that, my friends, is the secret. Your brain has to be involved. You can’t log your thirty minutes on the elliptical machine while you watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians and expect your body to respond. The key element of ALL these gimmicks is that they all give you something new on which to concentrate. The programs that develop results are based on giving you continued stimuli so that you must constantly adjust and react. The titles of these gimmicks– simply advertising and marketing. Some have so little substance that you won’t be able to concentrate through one entire workout. But concentration is key for results.

That factor is what makes a quality trainer. If you went into your accountant’s office and discussed the baseball game for an hour, never touching on financials, how would that make you feel? If your mechanic talked about the newest restaurant he visited, but never mentioned your carborator, would that be money well spent? But how many times have you visited the gym and seen a trainer, glassy-eyed, staring into space, or regaling a client with tales of a recent adventure at bars in the West Village? Too many times. Quality teachers and quality trainers, supply you with a constantly evolving source of information, creating a dynamic for you between your brain and your body that is essential to attaining and maintaining results.

So, as we gear up for health and fitness Silly Season (that blissful time between the first Thanksgiving whiskey and the last New Year’s Eve glass of champagne), please remember: when you take those few valuable minutes, be present for the event. Vegging out, though fun, won’t necessarily prove as productive as you would like it to be.

And Adobe did lose the weight. And become extraordinarily proficient at crossword puzzles.